Illamasqua Phallic Nail Varnish review and photos.

Illamasqua Phallic Nail Lacquer

Illamasqua Phallic Nail Varnish.

Illamasqua Cosmetics is one brand that does not shy away from bold in-your-face makeup looks. Their image is appropriately promoted as “Cosmetics For Your Alter Ego”.  In my case, my alter ego would be a female James Bond (preferably named Nikita), with a mastery of all fighting styles, comfortably chasing bad guys in the most stylish five-inch heels, with a degree from MIT, awarding everyone with the epithet “darling”, all the while wearing Illamasqua Phallic Nail Varnish ($17 US/ .5fl. oz.) on my perfectly manicured chip-free nails.  Well, at least a small part of the fantasy is real…

Illamasqua Phallic Nail Lacquer.

Illamasqua Phallic Nail Varnish.

The Pros:

  1. Absolutely stunning “deep midnight blue with shimmers” (Sephora’s description).
  2. Formula has a substantial medium consistency.
  3. Opacity is reached with one coat.  I apply two coats for good measure.
  4. Phenomenal wear…5-6 days without chipping, especially if paired with Illamasqua Base Coat.
  5. The blue shimmers in the polish make Phallic appear noticeably blue rather than black.
  6. Large selection of shades and finishes…49 to be exact.
  7. Price/amount ratio will not break the bank…IMHO the formula surpass Chanel and Dior.
  8. The brush head is dense and tapered perfectly to accommodate a variety of nail beds.
  9. The polish dries quickly–very similar to Marc Jacobs nail lacquer (reviewed here).
  10. Permanent color in their line.
Illamasqua Phallic Nail Lacquer.

Illamasqua Phallic Nail Varnish.

The Cons:

  1. The names of certain polishes are quite risqué.  (ex: phallic, load, blow, throb…you get the point).
  2. The formula is not advertised as 3-free (formaldehyde resin is an ingredient, but most polishes have this chemical in their formula to provide shine–not part of the 3-free category).
  3. Removal is a pain in the keister….Zoya Polish Remover is the only remover that will eliminate all traces of this blue pigment.
  4. Staining is a definite if a base coat is not used.
  5. As of late, Sephora no longer carries the entire line in stores..certain items have been cut from their in-store stock.

Illamasqua Cosmetics are sold at Sephora, (entire line) and (entire line).

Illamasqua Phallic Nail Lacquer ingredient list.

Illamasqua Phallic Nail Varnish ingredient list.

THE VERDICT:  If makeup could talk what would it say?

Makeup would tell you Illamasqua Phallic is one deliciously naughty nail color.  I am on my second bottle..that is how much I adore this color!!!  Phallic’s color, wear, shine, consistency, and brush head is worth the aggravation of the removal.  A drugstore duplicate is sure to exist, however I do not have the energy or desire to seek out its doppelgänger.  Illamasqua is a great brand (Ore Pigment anyone (here), if you can get past some of the names of the products and over-the-top makeup images.  Personally, I find the images to be a work of art, but some traditionalist may not agree and overlook this brand.  Remember, sometimes it is wise to let go of convention, let your hair down and let some of your alter ego shine through 🙂   Be well and stay safe.


* is not affiliated with any brands mentioned, all products were purchased by me.  Compensation is not given for any reviews.  Click on each photo to enlarge. *Click on the rose highlighted words to take you to a direct link to each product. *All photos are property of unless otherwise noted.


About Maria Pia

A blog about beauty (what else), what makes me smile and life with two boys and a dog. This blog is about positivity and inspiration sewn in with a little humor. Makeup is not serious, but how we feel after we apply it, is no joking matter!!! I'm here to share my tips and tricks I have learned on my own for the past %&^$% years :) Enjoy my lovelies.

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